First Love

cold ice cream,

the playful wind

a childhood sunset

as the swings creaked

and laughter flew over

the sea of forgotten troubles

the kiss, left waiting

your notes are tears, to me

seeping in the poet's soul

I can't hold you close enough.

Haze

You ask what does love,
represent to me
is it attraction, affection
weighted down, flying free?

Does it keep us alive,
as we stumble through
or is it the poison
slowly killing you?

And I reply...

Love's far from crystal,
it's blurry to me
when I feel it, I'm content
but it melts my memories

the knife of loss
still cuts me deep
pain sharp as the day he died

but love is the haze
allowing me
to be happy inside.

Cracked Eggs, Open Hearts...

Well, this week was eventful. I'm not going to bore you with the school details but there was a lot of waking up at 6 am and going to bed at 2 am... usually when I'm studying too much, I try to delay it with mad poetry writing as you can see by the previous couple of posts. What's the news, what's the 411.. what's going on with me? Well, here's the gist of what's happened since the last post.

1. Witty and I wrote a crazy paper for this conference, and apparently they like it. So we get to fly down to Sweden and say, hey, we're kinda smart, love us! And the school's going to help pay for it. So it will be episode three of Witty and Sheala: The Conference Girls!
   
2. Witty and I got this crazy award from our school. It's the first year they ever gave it out so we're very excited. We basically get paid to learn about things all summer, thank goodness for research!
3. I'm half done exams!
4. I'm planning one week off before I start working. Book it off if you can, or at least one day cause I want to see everyone for goodness sake! From April 26th to May 8th.

Ok well that's it for now!

Good luck peeps, you'll survive

Ashlea

My Night

The dreamer, the poet, the daughter, the child
The pessimist turned optimist,
the faithful reconsile.

My torch, my flame, my light to guide
Lifts me up, through the void
from the whims of the tide.

My grudge, my past, my heart, aflame
running high on the clouds
as you dig through my pain

eyes hopeful with light
like the world is anew.
Ever searching, and questioning
bridging gaps to what's true

The thinker, the planner, the comic, the thief
has stolen sleep, so soundly
peaceful, dreaming, Alexi

Dust

To you it may seem
like you did me no wrong
in the life of a child
you played joy to her song

but ignorant as you are
my smile is hard to feign
when every time I see you,
my heart contracts in pain.

From the wound long ago,
I incurred from the ice
The coolness of your demeanor
as I paid the price.

For a hate that you felt,
not of me, for someone else
I was never the same
at night, I'd cry to myself

'cause to you, I was dust
and you threw me to the breeze
no longer concerned
with my life, with my dreams

if I could crawl back
yeah, sure you'd accept
the heart-broken child
at the end of your steps

over what, one might ask
would one crush a child?
whose eyes were once playful
and whose heart was once wild.

who can't seem to love
she can't set her heart free
from the scars that chain it down
the time you never spent with me.

now six years have elapsed
yes, I got all your mail
that you sent out of guilt
you felt for your betrayal

I stand before you a woman,
not a weak, little girl,
but inside, she is crying
because you were her world.

Poems from a bus 3

Ah, I love the early morning bus rides, if only my brain would SHUT OFF once and a while so that I could stop thinking and enjoy it. Instead, I present you with yet another of my poems. This one is just a reflection, of what you can probably guess... enjoy!

Incarceration

The shroud of night
Enveloping
the daggers of light
lingering
only for a moment
‘till they drive onward
in the darkness

what is it I’m waiting for
mindlessly seeking
who is it that I’ll adore
who’ll leave my heart to weeping

lingering around your door
lost and looking for protection
warm and inviting,
parts the dark sea
with inner light, affection

these thoughts, a line
and one by one
they come with their complaints
telling me, its not begun
and I’m not the type to wait

my heart, subdued
in frozen incarceration
barely beating,
the soft rhythm of distant drums
can you hear it?

Ah! To break this timing
To hear it once again
Be wild and unkempt
In joyous spasm!

How to melt these layers
Quietly accumulating
Of self protection
Of isolation

To dance through the carnage
of warm and luscious water
finally free from its prison
as my heart floats, with childish glee

Power

Standing tall
despite the fall
you wait for me to take

you push me near
edges of fear
but I will never break

I can shiver
I can cry
You can stoop
low as you lie
I'll leave this place
with head held high
without the slightest
slow decline

the weight on me
is amplified
pulling simply to the floor
quietly resolved
in the night
not to take any more

you will smile
like the wolf
sleeping in your mind

when I tried
to be helpful,
attempted to be kind

no, I won't smile back
not this time
not today

I will take back my dignity
you have out on display

but one thing
that I'll leave
is my own disbelief
that someone like you
could act so childishly